Word Vomit

Well, today I am stressed to my absolute max. Our auto insurance company decided that they needed to tack on an extra $80 to our bill this month without notifying us. We have to get tags for our car and only the gods know how much that’s going to cost. There’s $180 in my bank account and we haven’t even bought groceries yet. We haven’t gotten my husband’s deployment money back yet and it’s been 3 months. I guess the Air Force decided not to do their fucking job as usual. I’m so tired of being broke. I’m so tired of watching higher ups buy new furniture when we barely have any in our house. I’m tired of living in the bum fuck middle of nowhere, Montana. I’m tired of everyone’s opinions on my marriage. I’m tired of Jordan’s work buddies thinking they can just walk in my house whenever they fucking please. I’m sick of all the spouse functions being for pregnant wives or fucking play dates for their kids. I don’t have any so stop inviting me. I’m tired of all the bullshit drama that comes with living in the biggest cluster-fuck of a neighborhood anyone has ever seen. I’m tired of hearing my neighbor’s newborn baby crying through the walls and I’m sick of my other neighbors partying until 4:30 in the morning every Friday and Saturday. I need a vacation but that costs money that I don’t have. I would say, “I want to go back to high school when everything was easy.” But who am I kidding? I had more responsibility then than I have now. Teaching peoples’ bratty ass kids how to dance when they haven’t even developed the coordination to walk in a straight line. I’ll never get into college with that. I’ll never get into college period. Unless, of course, I want to drown in debt until I retire. My grades were never good enough to get any scholarships. God forbid this country be like other countries where college isn’t a debt sentence. I should move to Australia. That’s a good country. Everything there is poisonous and the spiders have health bars but whatevs. It’s better than here. Their economy doesn’t suck so I could probably pretty easily get a job, unlike here. I’ve been searching for a year to no avail. Today sucks. Yesterday sucked. Tomorrow will probably suck too. Can I get a do over?